Unreleased Dannii - By Way Of Denise Lopez

The "Neon Nights" sessions were such a fertile period in Dannii's career that the vaults of London Records are positively bursting with unreleased Dannii material. Some of the songs have finally started to leak, while others have been re-recorded and used by other acts. One such act is the Swedish sensation, Denise Lopez. Denise not only got her hands on two of Dannii's fabulous rejects but somehow got Dannii to sing back-up vocals on one of them.

The tracks in questions, "Karma Sutra" and "Sex Dice", are both excellent and both written by Dannii. "Karma Sutra" is the song that features Dannii on backing vocals and sounds like a slightly more poptastic version of "Vibe On". "Sex Dice" is even better. I love the tacky lyrics about rolling "a 6 and a 9". Classy. This song is so Danniitastic, I can almost picture her singing it! Both songs would have slotted in nicely with the other tracks on "Neon Nights" due to their catchy beats and slutastic lyrics. If only Dannii had released something akin to the hyper-edition of Kylie's "Fever", which included all the B-sides and other goodies. Instead, Dannii's hard work has passed on to delightful lady pictured above. I'm not sure what the Denise Lopez story is, all I know is that she comes from Sweden and releases Dannii's sloppy seconds. I love her already!

A big thanks to Blogland's most infamous Dannii hater, Robpop, for sending me the tracks. We all know he has a secret Dannii shrine hidden away behind his sling and harness!

Remixing Bionda

Bionda is becoming something of a fixture on this Blog as one of the holy trinity of Swedish pop trash queens, along with the lovely Olinda and Marie Plosjo. Of the three, Bionda is definitely my favourite. Her publicity whoring antics are already a thing of legend. Who else but the woman formerly known as Linda Rosing could squeeze in having sex on national television in the Big Brother house, launching a failed pop career, starting a political party (which garnered only 222 votes in the election), writing an autobiography (well, having one ghost written by a gay journalist) and re-launching a pop career with a tour consisting of three songs - into only a couple of years? As far as I'm concerned, someone should be handing Bionda a Nobel Prize for services to the Swedish tabloids!

One of my favourite songs of 2006 was Bionda's stunning pop anthem, "Forget Me, Forget Me Not". The song shocked everyone by actually charting in Sweden and has become an internet favourite. Bionda's number 1 desperate gay fan, Tommie, recently sent me the remixes of "Forget Me, Forget Me Not" and one of them really stood as being worthy of an international icon like Bionda. The "Snakebyte Floorfiller Edit" is a wonderful piece of Euro-disco that almost manages to improve on the original. This remix makes Bionda sound like a Swedish Dannii Minogue impersonator - which is obviously almost unbearably fabulous. I just had to share it with Bionda's tens of fans around the globe!

For those of you who missed out on the original:

Tommie has also been kind enough to upload the amazing video to youtube. This is seriously fantastic. It's mind-boggling what you can do with $20 and a camcorder! Watch the video here.

Bionda has made such an impact that some incredible fans are petitioning AATW records to sign Bionda - join the petition!

The Future Of Swedish Pop - Olinda & Marie!

Olinda strikes a pose

One of my favourite acts of 2006 was the stunningly talented Swedish diva, Bionda. I'm sure you remember her as the ex-Big Brother contestant who formed her own political party in order to promote her pop career. It seems that Bionda is not the only tragic ex-reality TV tart to try her luck with a pop career in Sweden. Bionda's number 1 fan, Tommie, recently introduced me to Olinda and Marie Plosjo, two ex-reality "stars" who have released amazing pop songs. Where does Sweden keep all these beautiful, intelligent and gifted artists?

Olinda Borggren makes Bionda look positively demure. It seems that Olinda has a history of wearing no clothes and being a complete bitch to absolutely everyone. Some of Olinda's career "highlights" include making a complete spectacle of herself on Joe Millionaire 2 by crafting a dildo in a pottery class and removing Joe's pants in the swimming pool. After Joe Millionaire, Olinda returned to Sweden and appeared on another reality show called "Paradise Hotel". True to form, Olinda wore very little clothing and was a complete bitch. She has recently been generating headlines by claiming that Sweden is "the arsehole of the world". Olinda obviously hasn't been to Canberra.

Ratty slut

Amazingly, multi-talented Olinda also found the time to record a single, apppropriately titled "Playboy Bunny", and even filmed a craptastic video clip. The song is a divine slice of euro-pop that reminds me of Aqua and Cartoons. Olinda might be a ratty slut but her music is brilliant! I have no idea if the song was a hit but it should have been, if only for the amazing lyrics which include lines like "I'm hot and ready, to work you steady". Bionda should cover it! In her spare time, Olinda manages what appears to be a porn site with her boyfriend. The intro invites us to "enjoy the magical and fucked up world of Olinda and Patrick". I'm guessing that Olinda's world is more fucked up than magical.

Watch the video for "Playboy Bunny".

Marie Plosjo

The second amazing Swedish pop goddess does not quite have the trash pedigree of Olinda or Bionda but she is still incredibly fabulous. Marie Plosjo is another ex-"Paradise Hotel" contestant who has desperately tried to extend her 15 minutes of fame by embarking on a trashtastic pop career and dabbling in nude modelling. With her sister. Marie's "Boom, Boom, Boom" is not as spectacular as Olinda's "Playboy Bunny" but it is still a feast of poor vocals, cheap production and lazy instrumentation. Swedish pop does not get much more ghetto than this. It goes without saying that I absolutely love "Boom, Boom, Boom"!

Watch the video for "Boom, Boom, Boom".

Marie & Monia Plosjo enjoy some good, old-fashioned sisterly fun

I think it's time to forget about Melody Club and BWO. The future of Swedish pop clearly lies with three tragic bitches called Bionda, Olinda and Marie. I can hardly wait to see which new low these ladies sink to next. Thanks again to Tommie for bringing my attention to these Swedish superstars.

Sweden's Blazing New Talent - Bionda!

I have to thank Bionda's number 1 fan, Tommie, for bringing this Swedish sensation to my attention. Without him, I would have no idea that this ex-Big Brother contestant/nude model/failed politician/pop queen even existed. Bionda, the cheap tart formerly known as Linda Rosing, is one of Sweden's trashiest celebrities. It seems there is nothing Bionda wont do for publicity, from starting her own political party to getting cosmetic surgery on national television! Are you starting to love her already?

Bionda launches her political party

If Bionda's tragic publicity whoring isn't inspiring enough, it seems Bionda has recently embarked on a tour - with a setlist of 3 songs! You can even watch Bionda's entire 3 song concert experience thanks to Tommie.

Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3

Bionda's 3 gay fans go crazy when she belts out her latest "hit" - I'm there in spirit!

Apparently, Bionda had to remind the audience that they should be dancing and having fun. What a kind and caring woman, always thinking of her fans! Her backing singers are hysterical. Even Dannii would draw the line at employing that kind of "talent". To get the full Bionda story - check out Tommie's post at La Toya's Haven. As you can tell, the forum is a spiritual centre of trash!


Bionda has unleashed a new tune on the Swedish public and I have to say, Bionda puts all the other credible Swedish divas to shame with the work of genius that is "Forget Me, Forget Me Not". What incredible lyrics and vocals! The song hasn't charted in Sweden yet but it's definitely a future #87 hit in the making. I've also uploaded another Bionda number, the equally stunning "Summer Love". I'm sure, I'm not alone in believing that Bionda is the future of Swedish pop!

Worshipping Robyn

If you have been anywhere near a pop music blog in the last year, you will know all about Robyn. In fact, you might be suffering from acute Robyn over-saturation. I almost feel like I should apologise for outing myself as another Robyn-aholic but fuck it, there is a reason why everyone is falling over themselves to jump on the Robyn bandwagon. Put simply - the bitch is FIERCE! In a world of talentless trolls who get record deals by sucking cock (Listen up, Rachel Stevens and Lisa Scott-Lee!), Robyn is something of an outcast. She writes her own material, has more attitude than Courtney Love, embraces a hip-hop sound without looking like a complete imbecile and manages her own record company. And yet, to most of the world, Robyn is still that "Show Me Love" girl. Hopefully, that is all about to change with the international release of Robyn's latest album. Not that she's done herself any favours with the taster, her so-called "Rakamonie EP" - but I'll get to that later.


Just about every song in Robyn's back catalogue is floating around blogland, so I'm going to stick with some old tunes and a couple of remixes. With Robyn, it makes more sense to work backwards because her sound today is a million miles removed from her Max Martin classics in the 1990s. I should get the controvery out of the way. The "Rakamonie EP" is a pile of shit!


Yes, I went there! Let me explain before you send death threats! The songs themselves range from genius to mediocre but the concept behind the EP is seriously flawed. As I understand it, "Rakamonie" is meant to be a kind of taste test for the UK market before unleashing her brilliant self-titled album on the Poms. If that is the case, why not select a couple of tracks that actually demonstrate the content of her album, not a hodge podge of live tracks, B-sides and try hard rap bullshit? It is painfully obvious that Robyn is trying to market herself to the cool crowd. If she wants to impress the 5 journalists at NME who get off on live duets with Jenny fucking Wilson, then I'm happy for her. If she wanted to impress the people who might actually buy her album, she's missed the mark but a massive margin. If you are new to Robyn, buy the EP for the beautiful artwork, the track "Cobrastyle" (previously leaked as "Girliestyle" - why the name change?) and the amusing "Konichiwa Bitches". Forget the rest. "Be Mine" is possibly my favourite song of the past couple of years but that ballad interpretation is shit. The duet is crap and "Jack U Off" is dirty fun but hardly essential Robyn. If she doesn't watch it, Robyn will be sharing a park bench with Leila K in no time!


Ok, rant over! Now that I've got that off my chest, let's appreciate the masterpiece that is "Robyn". The year isn't over but this is leading my list for album of the year. I know it came out in 2005 but I was only lucky enough to get my hands on it this year. In fact, if it wasn't for the incredibly sexy Tommie from La Toya's Haven, I would have still been enjoying "Robyn Is Here" and wondering whatever happened to her. Thankfully, Tommie sent me some tracks and my jaw dropped in amazement at what was coming through the stereo. Track after track of flawlessly original pop music. I immediately went on a spending spree to get my hands on everything Robyn has ever released and haven't been disapointed by anything apart from "Rakamonie". What makes "Robyn" so unforgettable? The answer lies in the album's humour, brilliant production and killer melodies. Basically, "Robyn" is the kind of pop album that gets everything right - from the music, to the cover art, to the video clips and singles choices. I can't fault a single thing.


Check out the video clips of the singles from "Robyn". The first single, "Be Mine", is a pop gem of the highest order. The video is suitably fabulous, with Robyn taking on various personas from a rich bitch to a cleaning lady. I love how scary Robyn looks with her bald head and how adorable she is in her rubber gloves! My favourite video and possibly favourite song from "Robyn" is "Handle Me". This song shouldn't work at all. It's basically Robyn trying to be Eminem but with a killer hook and sweet chorus. I find "Handle Me" insanely catchy and the video is nothing less than genius. The styling is amazing, Robyn riding a bike in a red cocktail frock is my favourite music video moment of the year after Marcia & Deni making fools of themselves in "Stomp". The genius continued to flow with the video clip of "Crash and Burn Girl", which looks like it was made for $25 using someone's mobile phone. I love the porn-chic feel! I'm not sure if the other single, "Who's That Girl" has a video. I haven't found it on youtube. I can only imagine how unbelievably hot it is. Watch Robyn perform "Konichiwa Bitches" in front of a room of bored Swedish people. I love how she mixes in some Neneh Cherry and her apparent role model, Leila K.

Swedish Cunt Covers Kylie

Sweden has provided the world with more than its fair share of fabulous artists. From the brilliance of ABBA to the genius of Robyn, the Swedes always seem one step ahead of the rest of the pop world. Jose Gonzalez is the obvious exception. You might recognise this useless cunt from the hideously overplayed "Heartbeats". If you were lucky enough to miss that one, Jose Gonzalez is basically the Swedish James Blunt. Yes, he's that fucking awful.

It seems that someone from Jose's record company thought it would be a good idea to cash in on Kylie's comback by releasing his vile cover of "Hand On Your Heart" in Australia this week. I have nothing kind to say about this recording at all. The original is probably my favourite song of all time, a mix of sunny melancholy and hopeful pleading that remains as great today as it was in 1989. Jose Gonzalez's approach to the song involves strumming his guitar, mumbling a couple of lines from the song and humming the rest. His interpretation reeks of smug arrogance; Jose obviously doesn't care about the song or its meaning. This is just an exercise in 'reverse cool' (when someone does something so uncool that it's positively cutting-edge) and a bad one at that.

Jose Gonzalez can go fuck himself. Here is yet another prospective member for "the dull cunts' club" currently populated by the likes of James Blunt, Dido and Delta Goodrem.