New Year's Resolution #2

Resolution #2 - Sort Out My "Career"

This is the second of my new year's resolution posts. The aim is to basically post a selection of songs that inspire me to get my shit together. Hopefully, they have the same effect on other desperate losers reading this crap. The latest facet of my life screaming out for an overhaul is my career. Work is boring me to tears. I need to start doing something interesting before my boss finds me slumped over my computer, dead from chronic apathy. It's time to get in a new job frame of mind with two of the most famous work related songs of all time. I'm actually a bit ashamed that I haven't posted anything from these two amazing ladies before now because I am a massive fan of both. I guess, it's better late than never!

Dolly Parton's "9 To 5" and Sheena Easton's "Morning Train" approach employment from very different perspectives. Poor Dolly has to slug it out in the office, while fabulous Sheena suffers the massive ordeal of sending her man off to work in the morning. Personally, I think Sheena has by far the better deal. I really should consider being a gay housewife. I bet I could wave the morning train goodbye with just as much style as Sheena! I love both of these songs.

After much consideration, I don't think I'm suited to working all of those hours between 9 and 5, or to cleaning the house. I think Liza Minnelli's first gay husband and Australian icon, Peter Allen, may have had the answer with his classic "I Could Have Been A Sailor". The whole idea of being locked away for months with hot men is appealing but I don't like water or physical exertion. The Young Divas (and Donna Summers before them) sang about hocking one's box for cash with "She Works Hard For The Money". Unfortunately, I can barely give it away, so I doubt I would be overwhelmed with paying customers. Rather, I think the song that sums up everything that I am looking for in a job is Olivia Newton-John's "Queen Of The Publication". I would love to work at one of the cornerstones of journalism like "New Weekly", "News Of The World", "Star Magazine" or "Bild". I think I would be perfect at writing bitchy comments under pictures of celebrities without make-up and I was born to fabricate factually inaccurate stories about fading stars, minor royals and Z-list attention seekers. I most definitely would be the queen of the publication!



The next step in my career evolution is making things happen. I've decided to listen to the experts - Dannii Minogue and Melissa Tkautz. Like Dannii, I've been "really, really ready for success" for a while now. And like Dannii, I'm still waiting! I just hope that one day my life will be as glamorous as Melissa Tkautz's fabulous existence. Melissa has left behind a life of long days in a gay solarium to have a resurgent floptastic pop career. I think we can all learn from Melissa and her glamorous life!