The Mysterious Dannii Goose

The Dannii goose is back due to popular demand!

One of the rarest and most mysterious of all waterbirds, the Dannii goose can be found roosting along the East coast of Australia and occasionally, central London. However, the Dannii goose is strongly migratory and spends much of the year breeding and wintering in the warm waters off the Balearic Islands, particularly Ibiza. The Dannii goose is easily distinguished from other varieties of geese due to its strong attraction to dance music and nightclubs. In fact, bird watchers across the globe claim to have witnessed the Dannii goose waddling out of discos in a disorientated manner in the early hours of the morning.

Following a largely vegetarian diet, the Dannii goose is said to be especially partial to champagne and mixed drinks. In times of drought, the Dannii goose has even been known to steal GBH from clubbers in order to sustain itself. Behaviourally, the Dannii goose most closely resembles the Central American tree sloth and Bonobo chimpanzee. Like the tree sloth, the Dannii goose has been known to do nothing for months at a time, while it shares the Bonobo's habit of mating with anything that moves, regardless of gender. If you spot this majestic creature in the wild, approach it with extreme caution.

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